The Evolving Perspective

The cherry blossom on a Sunday at the Park in The Hague

They say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." And while I agree with this sentiment, the reality is that stepping into the unknown can often be scarier than the allure of new experiences. Traveling offers the chance to explore unfamiliar places, cultures, and cuisines. But in the back of your mind, there’s always the realization that these experiences are temporary, and you may never have the chance to fully immerse yourself in them again.

Living abroad, however, is a different story. When you move to a new country, your identity becomes something you cling to with greater intensity because, in a foreign place, it’s often all you have left that’s familiar. You seek out people from your home country, recreate the meals you grew up with, and hold onto your native language. It’s funny, really—my kids have become more South African in the Netherlands than they ever were in South Africa. While the landscape may have changed, we find that we’re, in many ways, still exactly the same.

The more you adapt, the more you realize you’re transforming into a new version of yourself. One of the first things I noticed was the shift in my daily life. In South Africa, I never thought twice about my car—it was everything to me, my freedom, my symbol of independence. But here, I’ve gone months without owning one. Instead, I use public transport everywhere. I also use my bicycle has become key component in my transportation, and surprisingly, I love it. I never imagined I’d say that, but there's something grounding about it. Whether it's cycling along scenic canals or simply heading to the local shop, it feels like I’m truly part of the rhythm of the place.

And then there’s the simple joy of sitting in the sun—something I never appreciated as much back home. In South Africa, we often take the sun for granted, but here, I find myself soaking it in during the rare moments when the weather is kind enough to share it. The slower pace, the quiet afternoons, and the longer stretches of time spent just being have all contributed to the changes in me.

What I didn’t expect was how much these changes would affect my sense of self. The hardest part wasn’t adjusting to a new culture—it was figuring out who I am outside of everything familiar. The way I spend my time, the food I eat, the little everyday routines—all of these were gradually shifting. The person I once was, the one who loved the freedom that came with having a car, was evolving.

I’d always been attached to the idea of "having it all"—the car, the convenience, the independence. But now, I realize that practicality has taken its place. I still love cars, but it’s not about owning them anymore; it's about the ease and simplicity of my new life here.

At first, it felt like I was losing pieces of the person I used to be. But over time, I realized it wasn’t about losing myself—it was about growing into someone new. This transition helped me open up to a whole new world, one I hadn’t expected to feel so connected to. You find that balance where you’re no longer just the person from somewhere else, but a unique blend of the past and present.

In the end, moving abroad teaches you that identity is ever evolving. The key is to remain open to change without losing sight of what grounds you. Each experience, no matter how challenging, adds to the mosaic of who you are becoming. The sun, the bike ride, the slow afternoons—those little details become part of the fabric of your new life, and they start to feel just as familiar as the things you once thought you couldn’t live without.

Until next time. ♥️